How to Thrive in an Unusual or Controversial Relationship
by www.Sedona.com
There will always be aspects in your life that someone doesn’t approve of. So you likely shrug it off and move forward. But when that “aspect” is someone you care deeply about -- your spouse or significant other -- it can be much more difficult to keep your cool.
This is particularly the case when it’s people close to you who are doing the disapproving. Such negativity aimed in your direction can cause trouble in your relationship, strained dealings with family and friends, and it may even make you second-guess your own beliefs.
If you are in an “unusual” relationship, you can first take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. You may not even be all that “unusual.” For instance, in the United States:
- In 2005, more than 7 percent of the 59 million married couples were interracial.
- There were nearly 500,000 self-identified gay and lesbian couples as of 2001.
- As of 2001, there were more than 28 million Americans living in mixed-religion households.
- There were over 900,000 “May-December” couples living together as of 2000.
Still, if your family and friends do not accept your choice of a partner your would-be fairy-tale romance can become shrouded in feelings of guilt, anxiety, indecision and lack of commitment. And no one deserves to be in a relationship like that. So what should you do?
Quite simply, you should learn to let go.
“Let go of wanting others to approve of your situation” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “Remember, it is up to you how you behave and who you choose to relate to. If you wait for approval or permission from others this can put your life on hold unnecessarily.”
When you release the feeling that you must have others’ approval for you to be at ease with your decisions (and your relationship), you will be able to start living your life for yourself (not for them).
“All value comes from within,” Dwoskin says. “You can give yourself the approval that you are seeking from others.”
It may also help to discuss your feelings with your partner. Talk about how others view your relationship, and how their views have been impacting your time together. Often, it is THEIR fear of something different that causes them to disapprove, so you will likely need to resolve together to simply let go of wanting their approval in the first place.
“I would also recommend that you release whatever considerations you have about your relationship along with the feelings you have about everyone involved,” Dwoskin says.
This way, you are not holding onto any negativity whatsoever, and your relationship will be free to flourish without any outside forces holding it back. | 
